They Won't Go When I Go

My son Dallas. His 19 years of life and the two years since his death, has taught me more about life, love, and the universe than I ever imagined I could have learned. He spent the first 9 years of his life as the happiest, smiliest and most adaptable human beings I have ever met, or ever will meet again I'm sure of it. He adapted to any situation in life, even the bad ones and the scary ones with a positive outlook, a smile, and a good little heart. He grew to be honest, giving, and full of promise.

But then something very sorry happened. Something irretrievable, something from which he could never return from. He went where he should have never gone, seen what he should have never seen. And it inevitably took him from this world forever. Too soon. Too wrong. Too unbelievable. Even through the dark and frightening years leading up to his death, he was kind, gentle, loving.
The demon that took his life could never take his soul. No matter what... he kept his beautiful soul.

And his soul, so tortured, struggled toward some small piece of that happy boy he was, but had lost forever. I know where he is now. He is in the eternal sunshine of happy. Where he always longed to be. That he had to die to get there, has broken my heart forever.

I dream of him every moment. I think of him with every breath. He never achieved stardom, but he was a star. No one knew his name but his name is in the Book of Life, recorded there for all time. He never crossed the ocean but the ocean is full of his tears.
He never said goodbye, but goodbyes mean I will never see you again. And I know I will see him again. I wait for that time unafraid, anxious to hold him in my arms, and see his soul glow with the happiness that eluded him in his short life. I see him in all the sadness of this world. But I also see him in every beauty, every shining sparkly thing the eye can see.

My heart is full of sorrow, I am full of lonely immeasurable grief. But I am full of the memories of being this child's mother, and it was the greatest gift my life has ever received. Thank you for being mine Dallas. Even for so short a season. I love you with every atom of my being. Every last particle of my soul.




They Won't Go When I Go

No more lying friends
Wanting tragic ends.
Though they do pretend
They won't go when I go.

All those bleeding hearts
With sorrows to impart
Were right here from the start
And they won't go when I go.

And I'll go where I've longed
To go so long
Away from tears,

Gone from painful cries
Away from saddened eyes
Along with him I'll bide
But they won't go when I go.

Big men feeling small.
Weak ones standing tall.
I will watch them fall
'Cause They won't go when I go.

And I'll go where I've longed
To go so long
Away from tears.

Unclean minds mislead the pure
The innocent will leave for sure
For them there is a resting place.

People sinning just for fun
They will never see the sun
For they can never show their faces.

There ain't no room for
the hopeless sinner
Who will take more
than he will give
He ain't hardly gonna give.

The greed of man will be
Far away from me
And my soul will be free
and they won't go when I go.

Since my soul conceived
All that I believe
The kingdom I will see
'Cause they won't go when I go.

And I'll go
Where I'll go
No one can keep me
From my destiny.